New Beginnings
by Firefly119
Summary: A Lily songfic, kinda LJ. Has nothing to do with my series.


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New Beginnings

A l/j songfic

When you feel all alone

And the world has turned its back on you

Give me moment please

To tame your wild, wild heart

"Lily come downstairs honey," her aunt called for the fifth time that night. Her aunt waited patiently by the door, after five minutes when no answer was given she gave up. It wasn't that Lily didn't like her Aunt, on the contrary she was rather fond of her, the young witch just didn't hear her. She was so far gone with guilt and pain she felt numb. Even if she had heard her she wouldn't have wanted to go downstairs anyway. Her conversation in her head was punishment enough. She didn't need all that sympathy right now, fake or real. 

"I, Lily Rose Evans have just killed my parents!" she said to no one in particular. Of course not really, but as far as Lily was concerned she had. "If I hadn't been a witch, then Voldemort wouldn't have known who I was and they wouldn't be… they wouldn't be….. " She couldn't bring her self to finish the sentence. She bit her lip, a habit her mother was constantly scolding her about, but that didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. She didn't want it to be true. 

"Maybe if I don't say it, and if I don't cry, then maybe it isn't true." The voice continued. Lily sighed "To many ifs," she decided. She fingered the locket her father had given her in her first year. It had a Lily carved on the front, and My Lily was engraved on the back.

"My Lily." Her father's voice echoed in her head, and Lily's eyes filled with tears and her heart with guilt. There was a knock at her door startling Lily from her reverie.

"Go away!'' she called They knocked again, Lily jerked her head up. No, not the door she decided, the window. She peered cautiously at it. There was no one there. Lily, suddenly intrigued and scared, forgot about her pain, overcome with new emotions. She crept up to it. Suddenly the window flew open. Lily screamed. There, on four brooms directly out side her window, were four people in masks. One of them threw off his mask and grinned broadly. The others followed suit. 

"James Potter, I could strangle you," she laughed. 

"Notice how she immediately assumes this was my idea!" James said to the rest of the group as if she wasn't even there, a grin playing on his lips. Sirius pursed his lips together in agreement.

"Shameful!" Remus said shaking his head.

"Oh honestly! What are you guys doing here anyway!" She asked with her hands on her hips.

"Well, didn't see you on the 'Express and thought we'd find out what was taking you 

so long." James explained teasingly.

"She probably couldn't fit all of her makeup in one trunk and had to repack," 

Sirius told James. 

"I thought that was it!" exclaimed Remus decisively. 

Lily grinned. "and how, may I ask, were you planning to get back to school?" Lily asked skeptically

"We figured we'd catch the next train," James said, pretending to be serious. All four boys nodded at this rather far-fetched explanation. They laughed for a few more minutes.

"Uh, can we come in?" asked Peter looking painfully uneasy on his broom.

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I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you

It's hard to find relief

And people can be so cold

When darkness is upon your door

And feel like you can't take anymore

"Is it just me, or are they giving us more homework than past third years?" Complained Peter. 

"It's you." Sirius and James said at the same time. Lily smiled weakly. Sirius and James had tried endlessly since they got back to school to make her laugh. They hadn't had much luck yet. Lily was glad to have friends like them; though she knew she wasn't much fun to be around, and couldn't for the life of her figure out why they even bothered with her. Lily looked over to the window to find the ground white. It was unseasonably cold for March and the snow had frozen. 

"Just like my heart." Lily thought ironically. 

Just then the door to the common room swung open, in walked Anna, Roslyn and Tina; they had been her best friends but were currently not speaking to her. It was her own fault - she supposed, she had after all been pushing them away. They just didn't understand, they couldn't understand but of course that wasn't _their_ fault. 

"You did it." I nasty voice said in her head. "You pushed them away. You killed your friendship just like you killed your parents." Lily winced. She hadn't told them about her parents. She just wasn't ready. They wouldn't understand anyway. They thought that she thought she was too good for them, and as the three girls continued to walk on, giggling and whispering Lily was sure she heard a shatter coming from her chest.

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Let me be the one you call

If you jump I will break your fall

Lift you up and fly away with you into the night

If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart

If you need to crash then crash and burn your not alone

Lily sat in her hideout. It was an old room she had found a couple of years ago 

in a secret passageway; she dubbed "the hideout" for lack of a better name, and it stuck. Lily remembered the day very well when she had first encountered her hiding place. It had been in her second year and was one of the memories she clung to.

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Twelve year-old Lily Evans chased her friends down the hall laughing and giggling all the way. She skidded to a stop and looked around greatly surprised. Where Sirius and James had been only moments before was now empty space. They seemed to have disappeared into thin air. She leaned against the wall to get a better look. All of the sudden arms from within the wall grabbed her and pulled her toward the structure. The seemingly stable barrier gave way to a scarlet room and Lily found her self among all of her friends.

"Surprise!" They called. "Happy Birthday!

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" Why couldn't things stay the same?" She thought bitterly remembering that birthday. It was a little over a year ago and yet it seemed like centuries. She started to cry softly into one of her pillows. It seemed like things had gone from bad to worse for Lily ever since her folks died, but apparently not as bad as they were for her aunt. The worst part was that her aunt never seemed upset to this extreme. She picked up the letter, read it and cried all the harder. 

James crept towards Lily's hideout. He had looked all over campus for her. She had disappeared after breakfast and hadn't been to any of their classes. James really needed to talk to her, but when he pulled open the door with a creak, and found Lily crying into the letter, he knew it would have to wait. Creeping up behind her James took the letter and read it quickly:

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Dear Miss Lily Evans,

You have our sincerest apologies about what I am about to write. Your aunt, I'm sorry to say, died last night in a car crash. I'm afraid there was nothing we could do. You have our deepest grievances. As you have no living relatives please see the headmaster to arrange a home for you when the school year ends.

Dr. Simon Peabody

Not quite sure what to do, James just held her.

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When you feel all alone

And a loyal friend is hard to find

And you're caught on a one way street with the monsters in your head

When hopes and dreams fall away

And you feel like you can't face the day

Tina paused by Lily, looked at her strangely, and continued on to her next class. She wasn't the only one either. Finally a first year crept up to her and asked timidly, 

"Is it true?"

"Is what true" Lily asked confused

"That you're a hag?" Lily felt her face go scarlet. Matching her auburn hair. 

"Who would spread something that horrible?" She thought frantically. Lily didn't have to look far. One glance at Anna and her friends who were laughing hysterically, and Lily knew who had spread the rumors. Embarrassed and betrayed, she ran.

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Let me be the one you call

If you jump I will break your fall

Lift you up and fly away into the night 

If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart

If you need to crash then crash and burn you're not alone

Lily stopped running to look at her surroundings. "Oh no!" she gasped. "I'm in the Forest." Just then she heard voices. A choked sob escaped her throat and she froze. The voices were coming from directly above Lily. She grabbed her wand. If she was gonna die, she was gonna die prepared.

"I think we should set these off on graduation for the full effect. Everyone will be there then, and we'll really be able to make a name for ourselves." Said the first voice. The voice sounded male, and oddly familiar.

"I still don't know about these things, I mean they are Muggle! What if they don't explode properly. We'll never hear the end of it!" Said the second.

"Oh stop worrying. Everything will go according to plan!" The first voice reasoned.

Lily tensed. Gripping her wand, she craned her neck to get a good look at the voices. As she caught a full view of the figures, she saw there were two. Both had dark hair and dark eyes. She could barely make out their facial faces. Lily nearly burst with joy.

"James! Sirius!" Lily called. "Could you give me a lift?"

"Lily?" Sirius asked as James nearly fell off his broom "What are you doing here?"

"It's a long story."

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Cause there has always been heartache and pain

And when it's over you'll breath again

You'll breathe again

James grasped the quaffle and hurled it toward the hoop. It was an easy goal. The crowd went wild. Lily cheered loudly with the rest of the Quidditch fans, but it wasn't just for James. You see, she had quite a bit to cheer for these days. She had new friends who were always there for her. At first Lily had been dying to know why, but now, to put it mildly, she couldn't be happier.

"Lily," asked a voice from behind her. She whirled around to find Tina, Anna, Roslyn, and Eric stood all looking really nervous "I'm really sorry." Anna said. "James explained everything to us, we had no idea." They all nodded in agreement. Lily felt a smile slowly growing on her face. Okay, so maybe she could be happier. 

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Disclaimer- Sadly I don't own any of this except for Lily's Aunt. (Though if you wanted to give the characters to me I wouldn't argue! JK J The characters all belong to J.K. Rowling.

A/N- _Please_ review! You have _NO _idea how much it means to me. Constructive criticism is also welcome.


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